The Immensity of Love - Feb 2008

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f r e e s o u l

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THE JOURNEY NEWSLETTER

a newsletter dedicated to educating, informing and inspiring people
to apply new possibilities in healing and inner growth

VOLUME.6

The ancient Thirst in our Being

2/10/08

It is true that there are no words adequate to describe THIS that we call Source, that in naming IT we narrow IT down, and yet it is also true that in giving IT words an expansion happens. I find in writing I not only discover more clarity in my experience, but I also know that these little black lines and curves carry something that can travel to someone else’s soul, like a scent that is carried by the wind from a lilac bush, and in an instant that blossoming bush has come to life inside of us.

That’s why I write. I hope the fragrance of Source will stir an inkling in your own soul, awaken an ancient thirst.


I have been visiting Source many, many times with the Journey, but this past weekend the encounter touched me more deeply than ever before, and it’s aliveness stayed with me like it never has. It was as if all the experiences of Source I ever had, were now joined together in this one.

Even such a massive emotion as this anger disappears without a trace

In that last Journey I found myself needing to pass through the burning intensity of an anger that poured out of my whole body with a breathtaking power. A huge cleansing. Oddly there was no glimmer of memory of who had caused this feeling, as if what was burning away here was something of my own. A last clingy veil of my own weaving that had still separated me from Source. I have been through such a flaming passage before. It is astonishing how fast even such a massive emotion as this anger disappears without a trace... all by itself. I surrender and dive into it, there is nothing of substance... I keep breathing... I allow it... I listen... as if my very cells are screaming... and after a while I can feel it leaving my body... just like that, magically... something lets go... a softness begins to spread... I wait...

And that day... there I was... not me... but dispersed boundlessly into countless particles, and at the same time there was a me in each of these infinite particles. And the me in my familiar human body was weeping over the immensity of love welcoming me here. My eyes weeping, my voice stammering... truly, for the eternity of the first moments, there were no words.

This vast love embraced me...

This vast love embraced me, as if every single molecule of matter around me was stretching out its arms, holding me, carrying me, rocking me so tenderly... it didn’t matter what thing or being these molecules were a part of. In them I was everywhere, and I was... home, resting, utterly free of worries, of struggles, of duties. Held in a love that felt... almost solid.

Seen through the linear eyes of time this love became visible as a stream of energy that flowed like an ever-meandering river... golden. Magnetic. Endless. I could feel a vibration buzzing in every cell of my body aligning with its steady movement. The invitation was clear. Would I allow myself to be completely carried by THIS, always? What is life like in the embrace of THIS? Every day? How are responsibilities taken care of? Problems solved, bills payed, decisions made...?

There were pictures, and more pictures, clear and beautiful. There were answers. Many.
My thinking mind softly eased into trusting that it is all right to give up the burden of being in charge. There was the present and the future gently laid out for me. The river carrying me through. No need to know how I would arrive anywhere, because there was nowhere to arrive. Nowhere to stay. Nothing to reach. Nothing to hold on to. And within me a dawning awareness that the unfolding of life would become more beautiful than anything I could ever plan for.

Where is all of that now, you may ask?

There is a calm loving voice that responds to the one that worries

IT is still here. Not as blatantly obvious as during my Journey. A bit more hidden under the surface of “normal”, daily life. It’s not like my life has radically changed, and yet it has a different anchor, one that doesn’t let me drift away as much from being fully alive. One that keeps me in a more balanced state of mind because there is a calm loving voice that responds to the one that worries about not getting enough done, not making enough progress, neglecting another person, not taking care of myself, forgetting this, being late on that... yikes!!! Subtle, but so relentless.

Now I notice and I remember a deeper reality. It takes some practice. But each day I sense this presence of Source a little more often, a little more easily. When I remember to stop, I can hear it like a soft whisper calling me in those moments of stillness between one activity and another, this river, this love, and yes, I will let it carry me.


My article will have served it’s purpose if it can inspire you to seek THIS, or if it reminds you to revisit the ever changing experience of THIS. In the Journey we call it Source, but it has so many names: divinity, inherent truth, primordial essence, unity consciousness, Buddha-nature, and more. Keep in mind that your experience will be different, because it will be your own, and it will speak at that specific point in time to your particular state of doubt, pain or illness in a way you can never anticipate. One thing you’ll know: when you enter Source, the illusion of all that you suffer from disappears. You remember who you are.

f r e e s o u l
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